Tuesday, November 29, 2011

On Fatherhood

Less than two months to go and I am officially embarking on a new road called Fatherhood. Fatherhood, a path I kept on imagining but could not fathom. A journey too complex that no perfect formula exists to go through it smoothly. Since Bubbles conceive our little boy, never was there a day that I ask myself if I am up to the task. I sometimes ask Bub if I am up for it. I always end my reflection with a sigh and a phrase of encouragement, "Of course I can." Amidst the incomprehensible bliss and excitement for little Juancho to come, there is an underlying nervousness, often fear for the task at hand. The last time I got nervous this much was when I was graduating college, thinking about how I could succeed in the "real" world and make good money. This, I think is a hundred times more daunting. Now, a life will depend on me.

While the mother provides the love, the serenity, the order and the light, the father gives the guidance, the direction, the courage, the wisdom. This partnership among shapes the child. I sure hope I give my fair share. 

Am I ready? They say that a person has some sort of an auto-responsibility mode, that when you know someone depends on you, you automatically step up. Am I up for it? Can I wake up in the middle of the night not just to take a bathroom break, but to feed my baby in 3-hour intervals?

When Juancho grows up, am I a role model? Would he be proud of me?

While his mother teaches him how to read, write and be an outstanding student, will I be able to teach him how to be a street smart, how to get things done, how to be a good leader?

Will I be able to teach him what's right and wrong? Will I be able to discipline him in the manner most effective? 

Will I have the strength to wake up in the morning and take him to school? Will I have the patience to wait for him during dismissal, or fetch him when it is late and he needs a ride home? 

Will I be able to provide for his tuition? Will I be able to provide for the college of his choice? 

These are only few of the questions that are yet to be answered. Amidst all these concerns, there is only one thing I can promise my boy: I will try my best to give him the best, to shape him to be the best that he can be. Can I do all these? Of course I can. Am I ready for this? I am and I will be...

I have personally witnessed this daunting task successfully done. Thanks Dad! I'll make sure I emulate all the good things you and Mom have shown me with Little Juancho.

Can't wait to see you Juancho! :) 

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