Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My Pamamanhikan Story - December 12, 2009

You just gotta love Filipino traditions. In every life moment, Filipinos have their way of doing it. Birthdays, baptisms, house blessings, weddings... We Filipinos have our share of traditions in our culture. This is what sets us apart from the rest.

I just had my share of tradition last December: The Pamamanhikan. I tried to look for related literature in the internet and I came across an article from I also saw a short description in wikifilipino:


  • Filipinong ritwal
  • Nanggaling sa salitang panik, na ibig sabihin ay pataas o pumanhik sa baytang ng hagdanan
  • Pahintulot upang makasal sa kapareha
  • Paghingi ng bendisyon at pagsang-ayon bago makasal
  • Ang lalaking ikakasal ay inaasahang ipahayag ang kanyang intensyon na pakasalanan ang babae
  • Ang pamilya ng lalaki ay magtutungo sa bahay ng babae upang pormal na mag-alok ng kasal
  • Ang mga magulang ng ikakasal ay nag-aalok ng tulong
  • Ang pamilya ng lalaki ay inaasahang aako sa mga gagastusin sa kasal
  • Ang pamilya ng babae ay maari ding tumulong sa mga gastusin
  • Ang kaugaliang ito ay nanggaling pa sa mga Malay
  • Ito ang panahon na itinatakda ang petsa ng kasal
  • Nangangahulugan ng paggalang at pagrespeto sa mga magulang ng ikakasal
  • Ang partido ng lalaki ay nagbibigay ng pasalubong sa partido ng babae
  • Okasyon na ang mga magulang ng bawat partido ay magkakakilanlan
  • Sa kasalukuyan, ang magnobyo na ang nagbabayad sa mga gastusin para sa kasal
  • Ang kaugalian na ito ay sumisimbulo ng karangalan at respeto sa magulang

Other than this, I could no longer see an article that best explains how this tradition is conducted. Perhaps it has become a lost art that the virtual community can no longer write precise articles about it. :)

As for me and Bubbles, my pamamanhikan experience was truly memorable. My parents have known Bubbles since college and her mom already knows me for quite some time. Everything is a-ok, except that our parents have not formally met each other. They might have bumped into each other during graduation because Bubbles and I came from the same college, but they have never been formally introduced.

When we decided that we will hold the "Pamamanhikan" on December 12, I became a bit nervous at first since this will mark the "official" preparation stage for our wedding. I am used to being at the forefront of things but this one felt so different. It was a mixed feeling of nervousness and excitement.

December 12 came. We were complete: my parents and my brother were with me. We went to their house at around 7 pm. We brought some food, ready for a small salu-salo. Her mom, being an expert cook, insisted that she will cook some dishes as well.

When I stepped into their house, it felt so surreal. The scene of my parents shaking the hands of Bubbles' mother and greeting her sisters was like another one of my vivid dreams. I suddenly felt speechless, timid and a bit nervous. But on top of all that, I was so happy because our parents instantly clicked. Not much effort was exerted, everything went smoothly.

Then came the serious talk. Thanks to my tactless mother who initiated the wedding conversations by saying "Mukhang may sasabihin ka Jerv." I almost fell off my chair when I heard those words. That's when another lightning struck me inside and gave me a good jolt, and then I started uttering the most serious words I have ever mentioned in my life. I cracked a few jokes by acting as if we were in a Senate hearing, but of course combined with the seriousness of asking the blessing of her mom for us to live happily ever after.

Her mom's reply were the most comforting, assuring words of the night. She jokingly replied with a Senatorial tone, "That's moot and academic." Then she followed it up with a tough, resounding "Granted." The sound of a Senate gavel was the only thing lacking in that scene, and we could have come to a recess or adjourn immediately. That, my friends, was my pamamanhikan experience. Believe it or not, I could still recall every single event that transpired as if it happened yesterday. Well, I guess that is what normally happens to an event you most cherish. My pamamanhikan was truly happy and unforgettable. Thank God for Bubbles' family's acceptance when I asked her hand for marriage.

It seemed that they enjoyed each other's company that night! We ended at half past midnight, an indication that the pamamanhikan went perfect. :)

A few snapshots:

Clockwise from left: Ichi, Petite, Mom, Jazer, Bub, Dad, Me, Jam, Bub's Mom, Niña, Concep

A few more days and Bubbles and I will finally tie the knot and will be spending our lives together, happily ever after. We'll have more of these dinners but this time, I'll be less nervous and there won't be "on the spot" questions. :)

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

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